hais` things been quite badly recently... not mi.. not exactly dou`
a mixture of feelings. i tot her condition was improving. dis week was spent happie.. reallie happie.. i've got my frens.. my s0 gals... mabbe sub-consiously, i dinch wanna tink so much.. nv did tat tot ever crossed my mind. her leaving..................... grandma's been hospitalised fer a wk or so now.. ain't recovering. kept complaining tat she's hot. being sub-consious.. ain't responding ta our calls. =\\ kinda heartaching dou` seeing her being so restless. dad jux called, asked us ta b prepared. @_@ sumhow tat phrase dinch reallie stayed in my brain.. or rather, i dunch reallie wan it ta stay... sumhow or rather, she's been here eversince i was born.. still rmb da daes spent over at her bungalow.. every primary sch hol w/o fail.. i lurfe staying wif her.. she'll cook fried prawns fer mi cux she noes i lurfe them. dou she can't move ard much, she'll still drag herself n sit on a high stool ta fried them. cum ta tink of it, time reallie passes darn fast. (aww, shit! i dunch wanna tear at dis point of time!) since sec sch, i've been busy wif god noes wat.. dinch reallie visit her much.. her health got worse... in out of da various hospitals she went. nv once did i visited her. i ought ta b ashamed. reallie. dis time round, i did.. but... nv did i tot it'll b my last. pls dunch go.. pls dunch.. it'll b weird not seeing u.. i pray hard tat u'll live fer another 10 years. ta c my future.. mabbe even witness my marriage?
*** i dunch wanna b sick.. *** i dunch wanna live so long. *** i wanna die a peaceful death..
